Pupils and staff of Folylake independent school Devilsale partied into the night on Saturday in celebration of the unveiling of their new open cesspit. Revellers were later joined by celebrity widower Jack Tweed who cut the ribbon for the official opening and (appropriately) mingled with guests. He even went on to become the first to use the facilities after sampling the PTA’s home made dolphin-liver pate.
Head Teacher Neil Gammon gave his reaction to the acquisition: ‘The staff and I are delighted with the new amenities. And we look forward to getting many years of safe and satisfying use. Open cesspit design has come on leaps and bounds in recent years. The mortality rate through falling in has reduced by 47% in the last annum alone. Hurrah Devilsale!’