A Folylake based barber and extreme sportsman, Ryan Pile, has fought off stiff competition to be declared this year’s winner of the coveted ‘Extreme Oratory Awards’ first prize after taking to the stage at a far-right British National Party rally and reading part of civil rights leader Martin Luther King’s most famous speech. Pile is said to be ‘overjoyed’ after scooping the ‘Golden Mic’ trophy at a ceremony held on Friday night. He accepted the prize in absentia due to being in hospital under police protection whilst recovering from his injuries.
‘The performance took months in planning,’ the fearless coiffeur told reporters. ‘I joined the BNP early last year and infiltrated the top ranks. It was the only way I could get to speak on stage. Obviously I was nervous. Who wouldn’t be? I had read about some of the other entries so I knew they were going to be tough to top; but as soon as I heard the reaction from the crowd when I got to the part about little black boys and girls holding hands with white boys and girls, I knew I was in with a chance.’
Pile is the latest winner of a competition that had grown in popularity year on year since its inception in 1984. The first winner was Surrey based plumber Barry Grade, who narrowly escaped with his life after reading Margaret Thatcher’s famous “The Lady’s not for turning” speech at a demonstration by striking miners in South Yorkshire.
Tragedy struck in 2000 and the contest was scrapped after a participant was killed by an angry mob at a ‘Star Wars’ convention in Boston, Massachusetts. Jamie Hughes, 22, was clubbed to death with plastic light sabres and home made ‘Tusken Raider’ staffs after he read out a positive review of ‘Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace’ from a copy of ‘Empire Magazine.’ The awards were not staged again until 2006 when a new crop of adrenaline fueled orators began posting videos of their exploits on ‘You Tube.’ The prospect of posthumous recognition was sadly denied to Hughes as the new organizers ruled that competitors must read ‘a piece intended for public recital.’ Which discounts film reviews.
Pile, 33, beat defending champion Danny Bower,24, into runner-up position after a late recount by judges. Bowers was thought by pundits to be a shoo-in for the top spot after he invaded a Tea Party convention in Houston, Texas, and roller skated through the hall reading excerpts from talks by Richard Dawkins through a megaphone. But points were apparently deducted from his final score because the aggressive reaction of the crowd had not been as a result of the content of the speech, as earlier thought, but because delegates believed a man wearing a pink skinny T-shirt and travelling on roller skates must have been a gay rights activist.