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Agreement on Isle of Man Refugees

Brave islanders face troops

After previous refusals, Wickle Borough Council has voted to grant asylum to a small number of Isle of Man civil war refugees.

Wickle’s mayor Len Beggs has pledged that ‘only the most in need’ will be offered entry to the main land.  ‘There was resistance from some quarters, but the situation on the island has now descended into absolute depravity. No civilised society could turn its back,’ he said.

Hostilities on the Isle of Man erupted in September after a coop against the military junta by the Island’s postal workers.  Militant postmen established their own regime and weeks of blood-letting followed as perceived anti- “snail mail” elements were purged. In response, a general insurgency ensued and the population rose up against the tyrannical posties.

As always with such conflicts it is the ordinary people who suffer the most.  Civilians on the island were still recovering from the trauma of the genetically modified Brian Blessed hoard when internal unrest brought fresh horrors. Rumours of mass executions are rife. Stories of cannibalism are not uncommon.  Would-be asylum seeker Stan Flute is hoping that he will not have long to wait for a decision.  ‘I’ve lost several family members to the war already.  My wife Elaine has gone. Two of my children are missing.  And we haven’t had the bins emptied for weeks.’

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