News

Men shoot another man

By Callum Croquet (age 9) 2 men shot another man last week on Tuesday on Beacon Drive in front of his house on the driveway in the afternoon.  ‘We can’t reveal any details,’ said people at the Hospital my mum asked.  But a man I asked on the street by Beacon Drive said he was […]

Hospital to hold open auditions for cardiac specialist

Hundreds are expected to attend open auditions at Speare Park Hospital tomorrow for the vacant position of Consultant Cardiologist, with organisers announcing that they are to see hopefuls at a second venue at the weekend.  Round two of auditions will take place in front of judges a month from now. ‘It’s so exciting,’ said 18 […]

Agreement on Isle of Man Refugees

After previous refusals, Wickle Borough Council has voted to grant asylum to a small number of Isle of Man civil war refugees. Wickle’s mayor Len Beggs has pledged that ‘only the most in need’ will be offered entry to the main land.  ‘There was resistance from some quarters, but the situation on the island has […]

Talks to end sea-shell collectors strike resume this week

Wickle council is to broker negotiations this week in a bid to end the pay dispute between sea-shell collectors’ unions and the novelty knick-knack industry, amid reports of picket line violence. Hundreds of collectors walked out 38 days ago, resulting in fears that shops may run out of model sea-shell animals with googly eyes. The […]

Wickle threatens Isle of Man with Brian Blessed deterrent as Zeppelin attacks intensify.

Wickle Council leader Clive Mound warned today that he would have ‘no hesitation’ in ordering the use of the hitherto top secret ‘Brian Blessed Deterrent’ on the Isle of Man, following the latest round of drunken Zeppelin raids.  The attacks began five weeks ago in response to the ongoing toothpaste embargo imposed on the island. […]

Man who forged giant cheque gets life

A Neilby man was sentenced to life imprisonment yesterday for forging a 3 x 1.5 meter cheque for £1,234 intended for a local charity.  Barry Tangiers, 54, stole the cheque from a photo-shoot for a local newspaper where it was being presented by the Scout troop who raised the money.  Bank staff reportedly contacted police […]

Council to consider reversing blanket ban on blanket bans

Councillors will vote tomorrow on proposals to repeal legislation imposing a blanket ban on blanket bans in Wickle. The blanket ban banned blankets from being worn in public and was designed to discourage vagrants from blocking doorways.  It gave police and other enforcement officers powers to administer moderate correctional beatings to offenders. Initially, the policy […]