Classified Ads

Call on 019765 56431 to place an advert. Or, to make an enquiry, enter ‘box’ number and leave a message.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch. One previous owner    £120    Box 8745
List of 12 flimsily excuses.   £5    Box 9087
16 Kilo’s of Jaffa Cake™ jelly.  £35  Box 6859
The top half of Chris Kamara’s moustache.  Display case included. £300  Box 6548
Want a celebrity’s telephone number? I’ve got Jan Leeming’s SIM card. And I’ll share it with you for the right price.  Box 4512
Never have a joke fall flat again. Get your own laughter track (Cassette only). £40  Box 5674
Combined Harvester and KFC franchise for sale. Complete with deep fried salad bar.  Box 9765
Gold plated ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ bracelet. Unwanted gift from grandchild. Box 5641
Can’t get the kids to sleep at bed-time? Try this ‘Jim Beam’ Milkshake Mix™   £12   Box 7543
Corned-beef coat for sale. If the weather clears up you can have it for lunch.  £20  Box 5673
 10x Packs of Andy Gray flavoured condoms. £10   Box 2183
Tube of ‘Country Pile’ cream. Offers relief from most mansions and stately homes. £5  Box 4532
Royal Doulton Ted Hankey character jug.  Slightly chipped. £80  Box 6295
Electric turtle opener. £15  Box 7410
Charcoal sketch of me. Not good likeness. £125  Box 3215
Fisted hoop. No longer fit for purpose. Would make serviceable golf bag. £25 Box 4123
Morbidly jealous parrot. One month’s medication included. £100 Box 9328
Voucher for 45min artillery barrage. No longer required.  £250 Box 7654
Signed hardback copy of Joe Pasquale’s ‘Khamer Rouge: The Ideology of Horror.’ £29 Box 6548
Assorted obscene similes for sale. Includes wizard’s sleeve. £8  Box 3266
Donkey jacket-large. Would fit small horse. £45 Box 2319
Michael Myers  ‘Halloween’ mask. Restored to original William Shatner. £30 Box 3419
Sex-offender detector. 78% accurate guaranteed.   £70  Box 4562
Assorted Phil Spector wigs. Includes ‘On Trial’ collectors’ edition. £140  Box 1675
50x 6’x6’ Lino effect granite bathroom tiles. £400  Box 5674
Wanted: 2x Tickets for ‘Nil by Mouth: The Musical.’ Will pay over face value. Box 6752
Mincing gait for sale. Unwanted gift.  £60 Box 1098

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