Tag Archive | humor

Ask Alan

Wickle’s top agony uncle comes to the aid of readers in a quandary ———————– Dear Alan… I was pleasuring myself to Emily Maitlis on Newsnight the other evening when they suddenly cut to footage of Education Secretary Michael Gove dribbling something about Ofsted. Unfortunately, I was past the point of no return and I can […]

Stage version of “Goodfellas” to feature all child cast

In homage to the classic Alan Parker musical “Bugsy Malone”, local theatre group W-WADS (West Wickle Amateur Dramatics Society) has announced that their spring production will be a stage version of gangster epic “Goodfellas”, featuring exclusively child actors. ‘It’s going to be quite a challenge,’ says producer Colin Henry VIII. ‘They always say never to […]

Woman says she won’t be spending redundancy money opening cupcake shop

Former council employee Irene Mounts, 55, has announced this week that she won’t be spending any of her £40,000 redundancy payout on opening a cupcake shop on Neilby high street. The shop won’t be called ‘Irene’s Fun Fancies’ or ‘Cup Cakes4U’, and they will not be offering cake decorating classes for all the family on […]

Talks to end sea-shell collectors strike resume this week

Wickle council is to broker negotiations this week in a bid to end the pay dispute between sea-shell collectors’ unions and the novelty knick-knack industry, amid reports of picket line violence. Hundreds of collectors walked out 38 days ago, resulting in fears that shops may run out of model sea-shell animals with googly eyes. The […]

Statue of famous hangman unveiled

Crowds flocked to Folylake sea front on Sunday to see Liverpool comedian Ken Dodd unveil the North West’s latest tourist attraction and photo opportunity: a statue of one of Wickle’s most famous sons, the hangman Jim ‘Trapdoor’ Travers. The bronze sculpture depicts the executioner inspecting the knot on his favourite noose “Ol’ Chokey”. Jim’s ‘other […]

Navy Man

Man on a horse